tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32035812653878726602024-03-12T22:16:56.445-07:00Love Truth: Hope After Suicide"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.comBlogger225125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-33405950281963260582017-04-28T10:52:00.002-07:002017-04-28T10:52:58.658-07:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">What
if your child shot himself while you were in the next room? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">What if you held
him as his heart beat for the last time? What if Satan whispered in your ear,
“Now where is your God?” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Find out how Jean Ann Williams reached out with her
spirit and mind to the one true Father. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Discover how the Lord God answered her,
and walked alongside her in the most difficult grieving journey of her life.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-74155133265385125452016-12-14T12:21:00.001-08:002016-12-14T12:21:19.412-08:00God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart Hit #2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">My book is free today on Kindle and hit #2 at Amazon this morning. </span><span class="_5yl5"><span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_5yl5"><span>Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,040 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
#2 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living > Death & Grief</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Until next time . . .</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Get your free download: </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart">https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart</a></div>
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-2950871937954308672016-11-26T00:30:00.000-08:002016-11-26T00:30:11.718-08:00"God's Mercies after Suicide"~Book Reviews # Four & Five<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTk5XHXoEV8fNGKbMd9QHCJIsE50LGHUsCai4Rn15AiqIUduhNMkzhNxyo6Yt95ZYdTYnQKQAlEtt9UFcikjN0qIGFB3hOPW4fNjaRxGQ2LOYeaymME669nvJbPNx_un0pkE2-YfX-Znw/s1600/Brothers+1yr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTk5XHXoEV8fNGKbMd9QHCJIsE50LGHUsCai4Rn15AiqIUduhNMkzhNxyo6Yt95ZYdTYnQKQAlEtt9UFcikjN0qIGFB3hOPW4fNjaRxGQ2LOYeaymME669nvJbPNx_un0pkE2-YfX-Znw/s400/Brothers+1yr.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Summer Time Nap: One-year-old Joshua snuggles with his brother Jason</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Readers,</span>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"<i>God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart</i>" is available at <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6569595" target="_blank">CreateSpace</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart" target="_blank">Amazon</a>
and the reviews are trickling in. I'll be posting each week one or two
reviews over the month of November to celebrate the book's release. </span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">When you leave a comment with your email
address, you'll be entered into the contest for a drawing to win the
paperback version of "<i>God's Mercies after Suicide</i>".</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">***</span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5 Stars~Jean Ann Williams opened the top and shares with us all the terrible pain from the loss after a suicide</span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A
heartbreaking, gut wrenching true life telling of a mothers struggle with grief
and loss after her youngest dies. I cried. I sighed. I LONGED to comfort the
mourning mother. </span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jean Ann Williams opened the top and shares with us all the
terrible pain from the loss after a suicide. But with God, and the loving
support of friends and family it IS possible to heal and come out on the other
side.<br /> </span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is one that is NOT for the faint of heart but certainly a book worth
reading for ANYONE who has suffered with the pain of life after suicide. My
life is 16 years after the death of a family member at their own hands. And
while not a child, still a member with whom I had a special relationship. </span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ms
Williams' book helped to open my eyes and mend my heart.</span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
Thank you Jean Ann, and may God's blessing keep shining upon you. </span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">***</span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4 Stars~ Excellent Resource</span></span></b></i></div>
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<![endif]--><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Jean
Ann Williams doesn't soft petal the heart wrenching aftermath of suicide. She
allows you to walk with her day by day into a life she would rather not face
and gives you the opportunity and direction to journal your experiences.
Excellent resource.</span></span></span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">*** </span></span></span></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Until next time . . . let us keep our hearts centered on Christ</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></b></i></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-52748227394665392692016-11-19T00:30:00.000-08:002016-11-19T00:30:13.357-08:00"God's Mercies after Suicide"~Book Review # Three<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBLYzgIKUF-FBUEeqJuK1plLzpFjNPFwb_IvJg2ueGQC4BjCLDWy3lVz7chjf7MrbSeDoncyXyDSGl4bdLgjMKfHVVw0UZcPRcT7XSi-NcfrWCDHvRweO2nlz5RuLEQ4yVmPiP8oMc8Uk/s1600/BDCopy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBLYzgIKUF-FBUEeqJuK1plLzpFjNPFwb_IvJg2ueGQC4BjCLDWy3lVz7chjf7MrbSeDoncyXyDSGl4bdLgjMKfHVVw0UZcPRcT7XSi-NcfrWCDHvRweO2nlz5RuLEQ4yVmPiP8oMc8Uk/s400/BDCopy.jpg" width="276" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ten-year-old Joshua</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Readers, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"<i>God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart</i>" is available at <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6569595" target="_blank">CreateSpace</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart" target="_blank">Amazon</a>
and the reviews are trickling in. I'll be posting each week one or two
reviews over the month of November to celebrate the book's release. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When you leave a comment with your email
address, you'll be entered into the contest for a drawing to win the
paperback version of "<i>God's Mercies after Suicide</i>".</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">***</span></span></b></i></div>
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<![endif]--><span style="line-height: 115%;"> 4 <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">S<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">tars~<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, Jean Ann Williams also told about the good times with Joshua</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I
have never suffered the loss of a child through suicide, but I have friends who
have and I can't imagine greater heartache. I felt myself kind of tip-toeing
onto each page at first. </span></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Would it be too hard to read? Would I feel as if I
didn't belong, not having experienced anything this horrendous? </span></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">What I found in
"God's Mercies after Suicide" was a very warm and moving story about a mother and
her son. Heart-wrenching pain was there, yes, but Jean Ann Williams also told
about the good times with Joshua. </span></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">At the close of each chapter, Mrs. Williams
has provided a place for the reader to write her own memories, a prayer of
praise from those memories, and note any scripture found encouraging. </span></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">It is as
if Mrs. Williams opens her arms to mothers who have suffered like </span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">she has and says to them, "Let's walk a while and tell each other our
stories. </span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Let me help you find</span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> your own mercies, your own healing. I understand
and I care."<br /> </span></span></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I was given a copy of God's Mercies after Suicide in exchange for an honest
review.</span></span></span></span></b><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">***</span></b></i></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Kindle version of God's Mercies after Suicide is available for free on November 19th.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next time . . . lean on our Lord and Savior Jesus</span><br />
<br />
<br />Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-87125762481807382422016-11-12T00:30:00.000-08:002016-11-12T00:30:12.091-08:00"God's Mercies after Suicide"~Book Review # Two<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w11rVFS_TjD1PyXbpNgT65ot9P5DmINzwtqe_0KJjhFA-oHGkjfz6YYxM_fMQxp1DiXUcP4UBNRoROSDC2cYUnddSTl5uPidjFHwydflEcn6p8PEJn2KX2p_Uw_PKQKCN4jPSYjqD1s/s1600/baby+Josh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3w11rVFS_TjD1PyXbpNgT65ot9P5DmINzwtqe_0KJjhFA-oHGkjfz6YYxM_fMQxp1DiXUcP4UBNRoROSDC2cYUnddSTl5uPidjFHwydflEcn6p8PEJn2KX2p_Uw_PKQKCN4jPSYjqD1s/s400/baby+Josh.jpg" width="302" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, age six weeks</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Readers,</span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">"<i>God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart</i>" is available at <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6569595" target="_blank">CreateSpace</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart" target="_blank">Amazon</a>
and the reviews are trickling in. I'll be posting each week one or two
reviews over the month of November to celebrate the book's release. </span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">When you leave a comment with your email
address, you'll be entered into the contest for a drawing to win the
paperback version of "<i>God's Mercies after Suicide</i>".</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>***</b></i> </span></div>
<br />
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<![endif]--><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">5 Stars~For Those Left Behind</span></span></i></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">This
was a heart-wrenching book to read but I imagine helpful for those having
experienced the same thing. I read this book in a single afternoon it was so
compelling. I cannot fathom having to go through the loss of a child by their
own hands, but this is what Jean Williams did. She was in the next room when
she heard the gun shot, ran to her son's room and held him and felt the last
beat of his heart.<br /> </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Each chapter has scripture, the present day experiences, then Mrs. Williams's
memories and a separate page where a mother reading God's Mercies after Suicide
can write her own memories, her prayer of praise, and her own scripture of
encouragement. There are even suggested reading materials in the back as well
as grief sites.<br /> </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">This would be an excellent book for those families dealing with the loss of a
family member.<br />
I received this book free and was not required to write a review, positive or
otherwise. </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">***</span></span></span></i></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Kindle version will be free on November 19th. Please spread the word. Thank you!</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Until next time . . . let folks know about the book</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span> </span></span></i></span></b></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-28983864341302527482016-11-05T08:43:00.003-07:002016-11-05T08:47:41.059-07:00"God's Mercies after Suicide" A Book Review<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanpUwjXrkUWuEeMvjT4LGccmjsCzk9HTFBBb_S1aKgNgC1YYxCWnQChDtaFLVbK1CvOUbPC1jaUl1AGTC7b1cXZ17uvMJfi-OomAB95_bvC0rkLCRuWUfKM9_jHS3CvsOfDTeBnLoUqo/s1600/Big+Wheel+4yrs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhanpUwjXrkUWuEeMvjT4LGccmjsCzk9HTFBBb_S1aKgNgC1YYxCWnQChDtaFLVbK1CvOUbPC1jaUl1AGTC7b1cXZ17uvMJfi-OomAB95_bvC0rkLCRuWUfKM9_jHS3CvsOfDTeBnLoUqo/s320/Big+Wheel+4yrs.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Four-year-old Joshua on his Big Wheel/1980</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"<i>God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart</i>" is available at <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6569595" target="_blank">CreateSpace</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gods-Mercies-after-Suicide-Blessings/dp/0997701609/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475851034&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=God%27s+Mercies+after+Sucide%3A+Blessings+Woven+through+a+Mother%27s+Heart" target="_blank">Amazon</a> and the reviews are trickling in. I'll be posting each week one or two reviews over the month of November to celebrate the book's release. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">When you leave a comment with your email address, you'll be entered into the contest for a drawing to win the paperback version of "<i>God's Mercies after Suicide</i>".</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">***</span></div>
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<![endif]--><b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">5 Stars: Devotionals to Guide You to Hope After Terrible Loss </span></span></span></i></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I
approached this book with interest, as I have known the author for many years,
via an online writing group we are both in. Not having experienced suicide in
my family, I read the entire book in one sitting--not at all how it was meant
to be read. By the time I finished the book, I was deeply touched by Jean's
experience, and moved by her insites. In thinking it over, I would definitely
recommend reading this book as it was intended, one day at a time, and in
writing out your own "Mother Memories", "Prayer of Praise"
and "Scripture of Encouragement"<br /> </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">While this book relates specifically to a parents loss of a child by suicide,
there was much I identified with in the complex grief I experienced in losing
my husband. It is written simply and honestly. Jean shares her very real
struggles, and doesn't hide the pain of her loss. </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">However, in sharing her
memories and struggles, she encourages the reader to find hope despite the
darkness that stole their loved one.<br /> </span></span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">This book will help those working through the grief of suicide by encouraging
you to cherish your precious memories, be thankful for what you did have, and
recording the scriptures that you find encouraging. Such exercises are not
always easy, but they bring healing, as you realize that despite your loss,
your child remains precious to you.</span></span></i></span></b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ***</span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dear Readers, on November 19th, the Kindle version is free, so would you pass the word?</span></span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thank you!</span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Until next time . . . read an encouraging book</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i> </span>Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-761406404881259492016-10-13T11:13:00.003-07:002016-10-13T11:19:19.319-07:00"God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart" is Available<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJTmwu9LUFGB_IQSQyJTzdmue_uPc2GaGovweGDoJ24PSWXheNvVxzf4gPXSNUC_3cz7PgyRyet1svYR4QgLpWBdXORfe-x2zZAhCq7Zhwju9IFuCXQhINzj4zLAlYOLA_Pbhus74U_RY/s1600/07041984.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJTmwu9LUFGB_IQSQyJTzdmue_uPc2GaGovweGDoJ24PSWXheNvVxzf4gPXSNUC_3cz7PgyRyet1svYR4QgLpWBdXORfe-x2zZAhCq7Zhwju9IFuCXQhINzj4zLAlYOLA_Pbhus74U_RY/s400/07041984.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, age four, on the right with his sister Jami</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Hi Dear Readers,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">After six years in the making, <i>God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart</i> is available in paperback. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To order now at CreateSpace: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://www.createspace.com/6569595">https://www.createspace.com/6569595</a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I've kept the price a bit lower than the average books, because I want folks to afford it. If you want a gifted copy in exchange for a review, please write to me, and I'll send it to you ASAP. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you wish to wait and buy <i>God's Mercies after Suicide</i> at Amazon, it will be available for pre-order on Oct. 20th. Release date is Nov 19th, with the Kindle version free on this day.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqauL6JstF0vTQuNMEV53O5sP-Vd9U79z9WYPCfCsDdnRYE2IRH9MtzIzsKq5E9STSINA192CGwklIPq7hPWtZ1-tlu3uWDYd5e-PXa1F6NcbTRBfKuzs7FbD8CA5UhZLWgU1mmPYSaf0/s1600/03+1985.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqauL6JstF0vTQuNMEV53O5sP-Vd9U79z9WYPCfCsDdnRYE2IRH9MtzIzsKq5E9STSINA192CGwklIPq7hPWtZ1-tlu3uWDYd5e-PXa1F6NcbTRBfKuzs7FbD8CA5UhZLWgU1mmPYSaf0/s400/03+1985.jpg" width="362" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, age four, chopping wood the rest of the way with his daddy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">God bless you, dear readers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As always, until next time . . . cling to Jesus </span><br />
<br />
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-5248613257231713402016-09-23T12:48:00.002-07:002016-09-26T18:35:38.382-07:00Publishing God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyRillcfU3FrHZlX5g3ElA2W00R3YD_oqRewMTh-fZwfFAXLDZG65Bhu1ykFHCedbWKAybvsOKg6Hk3L_XC3OYobaB21jWkgadJeKcQZCAfdNR9uJlGXuMkv1EhLXnVclCBjrPnjV4JSw/s1600/06121986.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyRillcfU3FrHZlX5g3ElA2W00R3YD_oqRewMTh-fZwfFAXLDZG65Bhu1ykFHCedbWKAybvsOKg6Hk3L_XC3OYobaB21jWkgadJeKcQZCAfdNR9uJlGXuMkv1EhLXnVclCBjrPnjV4JSw/s400/06121986.jpg" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Joshua when he was age six</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">God's Mercies after Suicide will be an official book by the second week in October.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The print and e-copy will be offered on Amazon, CreateSpace, and in wider distribution. </span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisrxabYY_u7gJ07JJ2FvXHAljTu-7T9R8yBbuJ09BApHQ6T9TgchCbVL896tOS__1nD6mF1kBinKQihVDVNXz3WoQSiEuVeJBLh_1QeZRNdSAX15_D2C2hjSQlFVSSeNxLIW_RJMhV-yo/s1600/7+Josh+sixth+grade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisrxabYY_u7gJ07JJ2FvXHAljTu-7T9R8yBbuJ09BApHQ6T9TgchCbVL896tOS__1nD6mF1kBinKQihVDVNXz3WoQSiEuVeJBLh_1QeZRNdSAX15_D2C2hjSQlFVSSeNxLIW_RJMhV-yo/s320/7+Josh+sixth+grade.jpg" width="231" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, age twelve</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">Even though God's Mercies after Suicide began as a blogged book here, it has underwent numerous hours of edits, therefore many changes. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My goal was to write a book which shines so the reader is in the moment as the story unfolds.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you faithful followers for the years you've stuck with me as I wrote the true account of my son's death by suicide and how God stood by me in a myriad of actions and ways. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">God bless each of you and know you are not alone in your grief.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In our Lord and Saviour,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Jean Ann Williams, mother of Joshua who died on March 16, 2004. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNkRhllN6Mt6h-wKTcyCW0wrQX3cMZ-3S8kvigenq9SOgbT4HC_GrpEoK6Gibobu7_sTgevAUogi60ciVymC5ZNENIY7kxC_K_DELfup_zNGHOJ1h1CFL-YbRkGiktbi1bQniTra7o7cc/s1600/18th+BD+Dinner2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNkRhllN6Mt6h-wKTcyCW0wrQX3cMZ-3S8kvigenq9SOgbT4HC_GrpEoK6Gibobu7_sTgevAUogi60ciVymC5ZNENIY7kxC_K_DELfup_zNGHOJ1h1CFL-YbRkGiktbi1bQniTra7o7cc/s320/18th+BD+Dinner2.jpg" width="190" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua's 18th birthday at a steak house restaurant</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-56513740317389508952016-07-27T17:49:00.002-07:002016-08-22T12:50:51.424-07:00"God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart" Releases November 19, 2016 in Print and Kindle Version<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvakSMtWLJC1U6vkknpBZHOkSKWxLR-x9V202Nyno5lhhhC0XK-E1uAjJlwXjh29tfEdyPpZs7fauBZNUyFRjojd-QiABoQK_C9T-1IVJxP0AfhFwXU3sWT07wOSJRn_LGr2kzF_Mo9ys/s1600/CO.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvakSMtWLJC1U6vkknpBZHOkSKWxLR-x9V202Nyno5lhhhC0XK-E1uAjJlwXjh29tfEdyPpZs7fauBZNUyFRjojd-QiABoQK_C9T-1IVJxP0AfhFwXU3sWT07wOSJRn_LGr2kzF_Mo9ys/s400/CO.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, on the right, Senior Prom</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Announcing my upcoming book of devotions for mothers, which </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">releases on November 19, 2016 and </span>will be available in print and in e-copy. And will be free on this date on Kindle.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As some of you know, "God's Mercies after Suicide" started as a blogged book here on my site. With the book going to print in a few months, my hope is readers will find comfort within its pages. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The chapters will begin with the true account of what happened beginning on the day our son, Joshua, died by suicide. Also, included are my mother memories of Joshua, and a journal page for readers. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The journal page has three headings for which to write under and will be formatted as such with space for notes: </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">~Your Prayer of Praise~ </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">If anyone reading this would like a free copy to read before the November release date in exchange for your review on Amazon, please include your email address for me to contact you in the comment section. To protect from spam, please leave your email address written something like this: jeanann_wATyahooDOTcom.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'll be posting news on the book's progress as the promotion company and I get the word out about "God's Mercies after Suicide".</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">In the next post, I'll include a link to Book Fun Magazine which will feature my monthly articles from September through January. In the September article, I summerize how God helped me to cope in the early grieving years after the loss of Joshua.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's the book trailer: </span><br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DyvNDlNHEyok&h=5AQEqLLwb">https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DyvNDlNHEyok&h=5AQEqLLwb</a></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next time . . . keep leaning on Christ our Savior.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-86398538074490600122016-03-05T08:05:00.002-08:002016-03-05T08:07:05.343-08:00From Darkness to His Light ~A Poem by Geannie Powell<br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7mV40pdDoAh1cwMxcqrzJWnfafH6a1xiztrX4Rh5EwwEjYmUzc0mjZVL5qEd4fSAJCqb8VYv9cT0cR1wj4fwlh24U5b8D2Na9xe5tXmy-7bd_Ucg0iMosVe3Pcnzft5aWWKMTjmxouhM/s1600/ForestLight.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7mV40pdDoAh1cwMxcqrzJWnfafH6a1xiztrX4Rh5EwwEjYmUzc0mjZVL5qEd4fSAJCqb8VYv9cT0cR1wj4fwlh24U5b8D2Na9xe5tXmy-7bd_Ucg0iMosVe3Pcnzft5aWWKMTjmxouhM/s320/ForestLight.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by James D. Williams</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">From Darkness to His Light.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> By Geannie Powell</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I’m sitting here feeling sad and blue,<br /> Unsure of what next to do.<br /> Intellectually I know,<br /> God is in control. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He will bring me safely thru.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s these pesky emotions that get in the way.<br /> They keep me from having a bright, cheery day.<br /> They take me down so low,<br /> Up is the only way to go.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But it’s so dark, I cannot find my way.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The Lord is my light,<br /> From this valley of blight.<br /> His truth I will follow,<br /> In despair I’ll not wallow.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He will set my path aright.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When I’m filled with strife,<br /> As oft happens in life.<br /> I search to find the right way,<br /> I recall what the scriptures say…<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am the truth, the way, and the life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Life would be so much better if all,<br /> On His righteous hope would call.<br /> He is there for you, too,<br /> Jesus will see you safely thru.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As He does for me, when on His name I call.</span><br />
<br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-47411593400216035602015-12-07T12:40:00.004-08:002015-12-07T12:44:06.457-08:00Reading this Blogged Book<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpIQuQTb9IJ8MxsoHx9valupg_NUg1JFt0Srzq6m2WjYF-k4lLpK0VD8UGlLMDuYaYqsdEn7vuvpNEdVwRnKn2bLEnunP4EfW0dC4JazDZyM8OO3beQh1UxkduHFE7O91ih9vJfEWq_TQ/s1600/Jean+full+photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpIQuQTb9IJ8MxsoHx9valupg_NUg1JFt0Srzq6m2WjYF-k4lLpK0VD8UGlLMDuYaYqsdEn7vuvpNEdVwRnKn2bLEnunP4EfW0dC4JazDZyM8OO3beQh1UxkduHFE7O91ih9vJfEWq_TQ/s320/Jean+full+photo.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jean Ann, August 2015</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
It's been too long since I posted. After having health problems over the last year and with solutions to them, I'm now able to pick back up more of my writing duties.<br />
<br />
I wanted to explain how to read this blogged book "God's Mercies after Suicide." For some it is understandable. But for others who are in fresh grief, I may need to explain.<br />
<br />
Scroll down on the right side bar and under Blog Archive there are the month dates for when I started and concluded the book. If you go to March 16, 2015, this is the first post introducting "God's Mercies after Suicide." You may click on March 16, 2015 and read chronilolgically from there until the last post of Wednesday, August 5, 2015.<br />
<br />
I'm still waiting to hear back from the publisher that is interested in publishing "God's Mercies after Suicide." It's my understanding the book is to begin the process of production in spring 2016.<br />
<br />
I'll let you know when I hear for certain.<br />
<br />
Until next time . . . know our God sees all which goes on and cares.<br />
<br />Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-35153353107717782822015-08-05T06:57:00.001-07:002015-08-05T06:57:34.466-07:00Wednesday, August 5th~God's Mercies after Suicide:Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Conclusion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhho1r26HeG5koFyxvOkmZHZHgOm2WMo7XsZsNr-oOtQnyVSEhaFxFwA7Nk5JteNp7DTF4Q9O39RfVZfKD6rQlZm9SO4bFgkSTpLPDqmfBB2NuMKclnBN3kXYxuOeAXMWHMGm7eouPagk0/s1600/August+5%252C+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhho1r26HeG5koFyxvOkmZHZHgOm2WMo7XsZsNr-oOtQnyVSEhaFxFwA7Nk5JteNp7DTF4Q9O39RfVZfKD6rQlZm9SO4bFgkSTpLPDqmfBB2NuMKclnBN3kXYxuOeAXMWHMGm7eouPagk0/s400/August+5%252C+2015.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Jim in a rare happy moment a year after Joshua's death</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span><i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“He shall cover
thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall
be thy shield and buckler.”</span></i>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>-Psalm 91:4</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Dear Reader,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">It has been over
a decade since Joshua died by suicide. What I have learned so far is that God
will never leave me. Horrific things happen, but that does not mean God
forsakes us in the difficulty. As I’ve shown you through the true account after
the loss of my son, the Lord has weaved blessings through my heart to ease the
sorrow.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Living in the
house for four more years after Joshua’s death was the hardest part next to the
loss of my son. I truly believed I would not survive. I had many serious talks
with God, asking Him why He was making me stay in the home where Joshua died.
It’s a true saying that God’s timing is always perfect, and the day came when
our house sold and we could move.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">God allowed me to
teeter on the edge before our house sold, and one bleak night I almost joined
Joshua in death. But something stopped me from ending my life. That something
is called LOVE, God’s love. And afterward, as I lay in my bed sobbing the rest
of that night, the stubborn part of me was emptied out with every teardrop. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I surrendered my
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I understood
later that He could then begin to reshape me. The woman God has wanted to me to
be—me needing Him for everything. A new me: A not-so-capable, not such a
know-it-all Jean, but a simple Jean.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I’m now a woman
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">What has gotten
easier over the years is the grieving. Now I don’t cry all the time, even
though my heart still aches for Joshua. Often, I can even talk about him
without sobbing. What is still the same is my heart knows when I wake each
morning that someone special is missing in my life. That my world still doesn’t
feel right. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Even that pain
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">God bless each of
you who took the time to read parts of this book. My hope is that these words
have blessed you and helped you to grow in our Lord.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">In the near
future, at God’s timing, this book will be published. Please join
me in prayer for this story’s upcoming project.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Thank you, holy
Father. In Jesus’s name, I’m grateful.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He shall cover thee with his feathers, and
under his wings shalt though trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Psalm 91:4</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">***</span><br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-35394785406277258302015-08-04T06:46:00.002-07:002015-08-04T06:46:31.609-07:00Monday, August 3rd~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Joshua's Third Grade "I Would Like to Have the Gift of"~ A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwR-2FYuK9kyvlqebdtJnClQTfA-jDLT9HR_6rfxp3eA25qxGLzEPPEP1TSoDKlLkDuOgWHnonE-uwJcRnKhd4jv7hUIQiG4S7xcT0KPLYtdNIs6fLTiHRsMOx5O_sKuLG8QSO081tRxY/s1600/August+3+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwR-2FYuK9kyvlqebdtJnClQTfA-jDLT9HR_6rfxp3eA25qxGLzEPPEP1TSoDKlLkDuOgWHnonE-uwJcRnKhd4jv7hUIQiG4S7xcT0KPLYtdNIs6fLTiHRsMOx5O_sKuLG8QSO081tRxY/s320/August+3+2015.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua, age nine~first baseman</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Within weeks
after Joshua’s memorial, a mother of one of Joshua’s friend’s sent me a paper.
It was a writing that Joshua and his third-grade class had contributed to.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">This mother knew
I would need this paper titled “I Would Like to Have the Gift of
. . .” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">She thought maybe
I already had it, but sent it just in case. Joshua had never shared it with me,
so it was indeed a surprise and a precious gift of affirmation that what I had
taught my son had soaked into his young life.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Here are a few
examples of what Joshua’s classmates wrote (names withheld for privacy):</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“I would like to
have the gift of a whole bunch of people knowing I care about them. If I had
this gift, I’d feel really happy. I would feel wonderful.” —girl student</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“I would like to
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student</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“I would like to
have the gift of love, happiness, and the gift of the Holy Bible, Jesus, God.
If I had this gift, I would spread it. I would feel wonderful.” —Joshua
Williams</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">When I read
Joshua’s words, I doubled over and wept. Oh, Lord God, I hate this! What
happened to that boy?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I understand now,
that life caved in on my son. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">People have said to me about Joshua, “He bore
more pain and sorrow than many people do in their lifetime.” Yes, that’s true.
At the age of twenty-five, Joshua could no longer endure, and the lie grew
larger than life could hold him.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Father God, I appreciate the thoughtfulness
of this mother. I needed to see my innocent son’s words, showing me Joshua had
been listening to our Bible stories oh so long ago. In Jesus’s name, I thank
You for another blessed gift. Amen.</span></i><br />
<br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-59134199391098563192015-07-31T07:05:00.001-07:002015-07-31T07:05:30.818-07:00Friday, July 31st~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~I Miss Joshua 24/7~Devotion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZE9UNMBoggB7IIDvNYBomnTm11SHQea_zzI3yxN2TMrZ6ncUm1gfxyGSqjBRlj1gJ4y3LLxub_oNQlKbCCnDtgu8bp-DRPRIOhblavpH1q-PoLB6Z8X1Iyx3gj-RB7peQCcSwzzJ93I/s1600/July+31+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZE9UNMBoggB7IIDvNYBomnTm11SHQea_zzI3yxN2TMrZ6ncUm1gfxyGSqjBRlj1gJ4y3LLxub_oNQlKbCCnDtgu8bp-DRPRIOhblavpH1q-PoLB6Z8X1Iyx3gj-RB7peQCcSwzzJ93I/s320/July+31+2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Jean Ann Williams</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband got
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living room, put on a Jesus movie, and lay on the sofa. For a moment I forgot
my loss, forgot my pain, and focused on Jesus Christ. My heart swooned with
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I leaped off the
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Then a knowing
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I reread the
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I allowed what I
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Holy Lord, I do not like the thought of a
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Jesus’s precious name. Amen.</span></i><br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-91434373659846768692015-07-29T10:07:00.001-07:002015-07-29T10:07:24.502-07:00Wednesday, July 29th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1z9XBGcdFs_q3ljluQ96rKnTUuhBw_DWCnfW7DE-A9rmyczlTHZuXM_yCfPgAijv3FG7VJ-fjwrhG_w_IXJ6DzQUIYk-6bugXyte4r5WZjAeXzsuW_GnRrwdgw_w4SEBkI10cadpcQjs/s1600/July+29th.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1z9XBGcdFs_q3ljluQ96rKnTUuhBw_DWCnfW7DE-A9rmyczlTHZuXM_yCfPgAijv3FG7VJ-fjwrhG_w_IXJ6DzQUIYk-6bugXyte4r5WZjAeXzsuW_GnRrwdgw_w4SEBkI10cadpcQjs/s320/July+29th.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua on the right, with his date for Senior Prom</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Mom, please
don’t go to Reno.” Joshua and I stood outside in the backyard the day before I
was to go with my husband to a convention in Reno, Nevada.</span>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I placed hands on
my hips. “Do you know what you’re saying? I’ve waited a year for this trip.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua lowered
his gaze.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">It was two weeks
before his death, and Joshua had been acting nervous. More so than usual. His
fears became serious. He was afraid the drinking water was poisoned—the same
with the air we breathed. He was sure our house harbored all types of toxins. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I peered closer
in hopes he would look at me. “Tell me what’s wrong, Son.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua sucked in
a deep breath. “I’m not feeling quite right. I don’t want to be left alone.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">The fear in his
eyes was real. I couldn’t leave him for the long weekend. “I’ll tell your dad.”
As I walked away, my selfish side hurt for the loss of a much-needed getaway.
My mother’s heart knew all was not right. Oh, how I wanted my son to be happy
and well adjusted. I sensed a shift. Before, Joshua had stopped talking to us,
but now he confided, and I didn’t like what he had just said to me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband took
the news seriously. We agreed that he would check on us several times a day. I
would report to him how Joshua was feeling and acting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After my husband
left, the next day Joshua and I were playing Scrabble. He didn’t want me to use
the central heat though it was cold. I got up from the table during his turn in
Scrabble and brought back the sheets from the dryer. It was my turn, and I sat
down and wrapped in the sheets without thinking about what I was doing. Warmth
enveloped me, and I concentrated on my next word.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Suddenly Joshua
laughed.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He startled me,
since I hadn’t heard him laugh since the rake had hit me in the nose. “What?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He pointed. “You.
You’re silly-looking in the sheets.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I frowned, but
was so glad for a more normal moment in our otherwise quiet game. “I wouldn’t
be doing this if you’d let me turn on the heat. It’s freezing in here.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My son shook his
head, buttoned his lips, and said no more about it. I stared at him, willing
Joshua to admit this heater thing was silly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Lord God, that time was a low point for us as
a family. Joshua drove my nerves into the ground. But still, I never knew he
planned to die by suicide. I’ve failed as a mother, Lord. Why did I not
recognize that his erratic behavior meant something as serious as death?
Please, Lord, forgive me for all my failings as Joshua’s mother. In Jesus’s
holy name. Amen.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother
Memories</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of
Praise~</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of
Encouragement~</span><br />
<br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-14238700597231054902015-07-27T06:53:00.001-07:002015-07-27T06:53:51.659-07:00Monday, July 27th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~The Morning after Joshua's Burial~Devotion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxDpDxU2Cv7TnHOrBaeGIB-o-PApGj4gWmU4D4Tv5sCgSgNLeMW-I1KwHaN8hn2Eton_FgqBccHV5dSg0cFK5SV0GOflDzw3WnEuarTdBpGIBfmxAftJeUPDPWKbDwPQDmEPpWwisoF4/s1600/July+27+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxDpDxU2Cv7TnHOrBaeGIB-o-PApGj4gWmU4D4Tv5sCgSgNLeMW-I1KwHaN8hn2Eton_FgqBccHV5dSg0cFK5SV0GOflDzw3WnEuarTdBpGIBfmxAftJeUPDPWKbDwPQDmEPpWwisoF4/s400/July+27+2015.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua and best friend Dana, high school age</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Jean, plow
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I obeyed that
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I would have never made it without the
kindness of others, all of them sent to me by You, Lord, at Your perfect hour.
In Jesus’s holy name. Amen.</span></i><br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-17604630753453753452015-07-24T07:00:00.000-07:002015-07-24T07:00:08.422-07:00Friday, July 24th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTUJKvhF7LmIKIK1Kk4Icjl0wx2Txw4785Qm1c9S_mzH-ELHhAjKL1K5IwSkjgaQ0EELjnJrzBnuFse1mHSsUAminqVbQL9Bd5GCekVlPsyTxX1kAqE832gWxVcG9ADsU9oU4LnD0Y3_o/s1600/July+24+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTUJKvhF7LmIKIK1Kk4Icjl0wx2Txw4785Qm1c9S_mzH-ELHhAjKL1K5IwSkjgaQ0EELjnJrzBnuFse1mHSsUAminqVbQL9Bd5GCekVlPsyTxX1kAqE832gWxVcG9ADsU9oU4LnD0Y3_o/s320/July+24+2015.jpg" width="229" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshau at age fifteen when he was diagnoised with arthritus</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Dad, I don’t
want to die.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua’s statement set off the event of a two-hour discussion
between him and his dad.</span>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Minutes earlier
and at midnight, Joshua had locked our front door behind him and went into the
garage. In his own words to his dad: “It’s like I woke up from a daze,
realizing I was about to kill myself.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">As I slept
unaware of what was taking place, my two men talked of life and God. At one
point, Joshua picked up his Bible and shook it at his dad. “We don’t realize
who we’re dealing with.” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">At another point in their conversation, Joshua said,
“People shouldn’t candy-coat the Bible to their children, for they need to know
all things about God.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband woke
me at two a.m. “Jean, Joshua’s locked himself in the garage, again, and he’s got a
gun.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><i>Again?</i> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I bolted from bed
and ran outside. I called out in a calm voice, “Joshua, you need to open this
door.” Silence. “Come on, Son, it’s late and you’re tired.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After what seemed
like light-years, Joshua opened the door. He was standing by the washing
machine with a towel over his arm, and his other hand was under it. “Can’t a
guy do his laundry?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I walked over to
Joshua and looked up at him. “It’s too late for that. Let’s go to bed.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband and I
thought we had taken all his weapons from him, and then we took turns on
suicide watch. We were waiting for eight a.m., when I would begin phone calls
to get Joshua in to see a new therapist</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">When I couldn’t
get a doctor appointment as soon as possible, I called our insurance company. I
asked if I could get Joshua in to whomever would take him the quickest. Today. They
agreed after I told them what our son had almost done.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">A therapist one
hour from our home said he would see Joshua at one o’clock. We had two hours to
get ready and be there. I thought all was well. I thought God had answered our
morning prayers. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Help was only an hour away.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">But Joshua continued
to switch back and forth from wanting to die to needing to live.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Then, he said
good-bye and pulled the trigger.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Not my son. </span></i>Oh, God, no. Why? In Jesus’s name, I'm horrified.
Amen</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of Praise~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span><br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-18904790153748719892015-07-22T07:00:00.001-07:002015-07-22T07:00:08.284-07:00Wednesday, July 22~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Burying Joshua's Ashes~Devotion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuNNfz_UiA1dtYGayj6bpIAT-bGRLRp3bPWlZfjRIlt9yxZItYhIE_EK0MwSDDwYR05DLjcrX_-4runguHdMK5xhz4iWQNI6hZgfAdVx1KWTjz2BspWnwKO2k22Whd5Cj0J88MArkREII/s1600/July+22+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuNNfz_UiA1dtYGayj6bpIAT-bGRLRp3bPWlZfjRIlt9yxZItYhIE_EK0MwSDDwYR05DLjcrX_-4runguHdMK5xhz4iWQNI6hZgfAdVx1KWTjz2BspWnwKO2k22Whd5Cj0J88MArkREII/s320/July+22+2015.jpg" width="231" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ten-year-old Joshua</td></tr>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I can do all
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Philippians 4:13
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I pushed the dirt
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My sister-in-law
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Wanting to be
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Someone said to
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I kept scooping.
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After long
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Others above me cried. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">With my sister-in-law on one side of
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cried harder, he patted my back and moved the dirt onto the remains of our
loved one.</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Oh, Lord, the love of family. In Jesus’s
holiness. Amen</span></i><br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-59554428429806078502015-07-20T07:01:00.001-07:002015-07-20T07:01:24.151-07:00Monday, July 20th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZvY1k18ab65wmz0GaTXPpylc5CJcpZyEQJqyxIj4OSeYYLTShn7E4UOajQSbaIKzvuJkD4Fyz4fLs60Jho624dibGFi2T_9t0iHtwr4HlI_K35hhtOzUy44MaPdyMVm8Bmqw0wrlr6AE/s1600/July+20+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZvY1k18ab65wmz0GaTXPpylc5CJcpZyEQJqyxIj4OSeYYLTShn7E4UOajQSbaIKzvuJkD4Fyz4fLs60Jho624dibGFi2T_9t0iHtwr4HlI_K35hhtOzUy44MaPdyMVm8Bmqw0wrlr6AE/s320/July+20+2015.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joshua and his first girlfriend both in Kindergarten</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Mom!”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua had walked
home from afternoon kindergarten with his siblings. The way he hiked up his
jeans, this conversation would be about his slip-sliding pants.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“What? And how
was school today?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His face
scrunched in agony. “You’ve got to help me. This belt does keep these pants
up.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I sat on the
couch and wiggled my finger for him to come to me. “Let’s see.” I stared hard
at his waist. The child had no hips to hold up his britches. My mind churned in
a plan. “What if I were to make your pants? I would custom-fit them to your
build.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His eyes lit up
like stars. “That would be neat.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">We went material
shopping and bought a pattern. I made a pair of denim slacks to fit him
perfectly. He didn’t need a belt, but he wore one to look nicer for school.
Joshua hugged me. “Thank you, Mom. No more pulling up my pants.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Later, I bought
several bigger-sized patterns of the same pant design to continue making
Joshua’s slacks as he grew. I made his pants every year, until the summer
before he entered sixth grade. He decided he was grown-up and wanted
store-bought jeans like his friends had. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t be
making his jeans anymore, but I understood. And yes, he still pulled up his
pants even with a belt.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Those were happy moments for Joshua and me,
dear Father. The relief on his face for wearing slacks that fit made it worth
the extra work. In Jesus’s holy name. Amen.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of Praise~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span><br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-25293030196370574242015-07-17T06:56:00.001-07:002015-07-17T06:56:34.468-07:00Friday, July 17th~God's Merices after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Gifts from Joshua's Clothes~Devotion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNfxzJJyjRa8rZMDAfKkzRSshIGyC77-JfkgRZkI4yoN8_NhMVnW9OLE1eoUsmgTlzdnX3hr400azwazzxquPUJ-GKDrhVqRwpfG4E22iX7AOgPDfMQP2ZSPeHmIZzcIRlSij93grl8U/s1600/July+17+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhNfxzJJyjRa8rZMDAfKkzRSshIGyC77-JfkgRZkI4yoN8_NhMVnW9OLE1eoUsmgTlzdnX3hr400azwazzxquPUJ-GKDrhVqRwpfG4E22iX7AOgPDfMQP2ZSPeHmIZzcIRlSij93grl8U/s320/July+17+2015.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Johsua's Stone and our stone is above Johsua's</td></tr>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“As in water face reflects face, so the heart
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Proverbs 27:19</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Oh, Susie, they
are beautiful!”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My dear friend
laid out the quilts she had made from Joshua’s clothes that I sent to her. My
lap quilt was made of Joshua’s jeans and pants, so I had a pocket with a button
on mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I chose pants for mine because
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Susie made my
husband’s from Joshua’s shirts, to represent that Joshua took after his dad in
the broad shoulders and muscled forearms. Then, Susie presented two quilt
pillows—one for Jami and one for Jason. Susie went the extra mile when she
didn’t have to, for the pillows were a surprise for my children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">This woman is a
true friend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">As she got up to
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I hugged her and
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Joshua’s passing. His stone is so beautiful.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Susie asked,
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I nodded. “We’re
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After Susie left,
I hurried to finish preparing Joshua’s favorite foods to bring for the
reception after the graveside services.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Father, it is so true that to find a true
friend is rare, but You have blessed me with several dear and loving friends,
of which Susie is one. In Jesus’s holy name, I’m honored. Amen.</span></i><br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-44989763695633055192015-07-15T06:49:00.000-07:002015-07-15T06:49:01.207-07:00Wednesday, July 15~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Another New Grandbaby~Devotion & A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSC-LKBMWJR5RL5cqDsGirLwlhxnRT3-xcKYC7wXAX0n4bLLsw1UY_yOib3KbaE18P4alOOg4RNZqHbPyad83hJzGIuUWc4yaax6tW9gQJ-IJtvFfWTX5BFij2rNtyDdwyj_ksVd_9zE/s1600/July+15+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSSC-LKBMWJR5RL5cqDsGirLwlhxnRT3-xcKYC7wXAX0n4bLLsw1UY_yOib3KbaE18P4alOOg4RNZqHbPyad83hJzGIuUWc4yaax6tW9gQJ-IJtvFfWTX5BFij2rNtyDdwyj_ksVd_9zE/s320/July+15+2015.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from left to right: Baby Jason, Jason, Jim, Joshua, and Grand (Jim's dad)</td></tr>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of
trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.”</span></i>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Nahum 1:7</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Eleven days
before the first anniversary of Joshua’s death, Jami gave birth to her fifth
child, Torry John.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Bittersweet
times, our family rejoiced over another baby. And with six granddaughters, we
were glad for another grandson to make that number three. Underlined in all our
minds, we sorrowed that Tory would never know his uncle Joshy. That Joshua
would miss out on the new babies yet to be born into our growing family.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua had always
loved his status as Uncle Joshua. There were nieces and nephews he felt closer
to than others, but he loved each of them. About a month before Joshua died, he
asked Jami if he could babysit her daughters. He hadn’t been coming around
much, so Jami was a bit surprised at his request. Jami was glad for a date
night, and so she agreed. We now understand he needed to spend a few more hours
with his nieces before he left us.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Dear Lord, creator of all living beings,
thank You for the new baby. Please help us to focus on and be grateful for the
new life and less on death and what we have lost. In Jesus’s holy name, I ask.
Amen</span></i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">A Mother’s Memories</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Mom, I want to
go see Jason’s new baby today.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Jason’s wife and
baby had been home from the hospital a few days, and Joshua couldn’t wait to
see his first nephew. He loved Jami’s three daughters, but this was a man
thing: Joshua’s first nephew, the first grandson to carry on the family name.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">We called Jason’s
wife to see if it would be a good time to visit, and she said it was.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">In Jason’s living
room, Joshua settled onto the sofa and held little Jason Jr. As I visited with
my daughter-in-law, I kept glancing at Joshua. He held the new baby cradled in
his arms. He stared at the little guy, so intent, it seemed, to memorize his
features.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After Joshua held
baby Jason for half an hour, we left. Joshua didn’t say much except that he was
a cute baby. We later took a picture of four generations of male Williamses,
and Joshua stood next to Jason, who held his new son.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Father, please help those men in our family
who are left to grow stronger as Christians in Your strength. In Jesus’s holy
name. Amen.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of Praise~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span><br />
</div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-52331895835634820502015-07-13T05:48:00.001-07:002015-07-13T05:48:26.695-07:00Monday, July 13th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Valentine's Day~Devotion & A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kIxKwzgTcLj3qj1hvXF3MBMUNbO5nyjPvLke6sWnFcyCQ9YcqdHWa_Fbdx3HhZe02498deNJZ7quawjcyqhHIJN2OtoQxEEzYBEXRGw94Dnp3KnTvVv-27yaVqoCwc-xNWOeKhac2Jk/s1600/July+13+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2kIxKwzgTcLj3qj1hvXF3MBMUNbO5nyjPvLke6sWnFcyCQ9YcqdHWa_Fbdx3HhZe02498deNJZ7quawjcyqhHIJN2OtoQxEEzYBEXRGw94Dnp3KnTvVv-27yaVqoCwc-xNWOeKhac2Jk/s320/July+13+2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo and heart cake by Jean Ann Williams</td></tr>
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<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth
shall shew forth thy praise.”</span></i>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Psalm 51:15 KJV</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">On Valentine’s
Day morning I sat alone at the kitchen table after my husband left for work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I played through
my mind last year’s Valentine’s dinner with Joshua. It was the first time my
husband and I had gone out to dinner for Valentine’s Day, and we asked Joshua
along. He had accepted our invitation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I believe Joshua
knew he would leave us soon. Did he want his dad and me to have the memory of
us three eating out at our favorite restaurant? Joshua hated the long wait in
line, clear outside to the sidewalk. But once we were seated inside, he relaxed
and enjoyed the meal. Of course, he stayed quiet, as was his habit in the few
years before his death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I bowed my head,
then, done with remembering. I vowed to spend the day in prayer, Bible reading,
and thankful praise for the time we had with Joshua last Valentine’s Day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Dear Lord, I miss my sweetheart son. I miss
our shared meals together. I miss his quiet demeanor. Most of all, I miss his
glorious laugh that had grown infrequent in the last years of his life. In
Jesus’s holy name, I praise You. Amen.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">A Mother’s
Memories</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Jami placed the
cracker near my mouth and said, “Come on, Mom, you have to eat this cracker and
one more.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Nausea covered
me, and I turned my face away. “I’ll throw up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">She sighed and
walked over to Joshua. “You heard the nurse. Mom can’t leave until she eats
this.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua held out
his hand. “Let me try.” He stood next to the bed. “Mom, you have to eat this
silly cracker or they won’t let you out.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Family members in
the room chuckled. Joshua’s way of putting things almost made me laugh, but I
couldn’t even smile. Instead, I decided to do what he said, for his efforts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He held the
cracker to my lips. “Open up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">As I nibbled on
the tasteless thing, my family decided to go to lunch. When Joshua didn’t make
a move to leave, my husband asked, “Are you coming, Son?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua shoved his
hands in his jeans pocket. “I’m staying with Mom. Gotta make sure she eats the
other cracker.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Ten minutes after
they left, the nurse came in and asked if I’d eaten the two crackers. When I nodded,
she said, “Do you have a ride, Mrs. Williams?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua spoke
before I could answer, “Yes. I’ll take my mom home.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">After the
forty-five-minute drive, Joshua helped me to our sofa. He set down a glass of
water to my right and covered me with blankets. He put in a movie, and we were
halfway through it when my husband came home. His face was pale from worry. “We
went back to get you and you were gone.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua looked
over at his dad. “I took care of her.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Father, thank You for Joshua’s presence and
care for me after my surgery. Thank You for creating my son. In Jesus’s holy
name. Amen.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of Praise~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-91223138253807628462015-07-10T12:07:00.001-07:002015-07-10T12:07:27.509-07:00Friday, July 10th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~The Last Firsts of Holidays~Devotion & A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxTXkQx1v_uzoEDEu6xJmQoT7wp3ffDQdKmcPo_GFDQ4Y-lB5NfVVvFz8fQF1Usj4HlbogvyJmyBSpXDyKWU_HuGFGSsDpHRD_j2c0aoMUi8FkkEJYCkBm6jwfOoFMA40WYAnFH1wV0Ls/s1600/July+10+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxTXkQx1v_uzoEDEu6xJmQoT7wp3ffDQdKmcPo_GFDQ4Y-lB5NfVVvFz8fQF1Usj4HlbogvyJmyBSpXDyKWU_HuGFGSsDpHRD_j2c0aoMUi8FkkEJYCkBm6jwfOoFMA40WYAnFH1wV0Ls/s320/July+10+2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Jean Ann Williams~Joshua's LeahNora curled between the firewood</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“If your law had
not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Psalm 119:92</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">New Year’s Day
came with a biting chill, and I turned up the heat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My groggy mind
right then remembered what I had decided: I would still celebrate. In keeping
with Joshua’s and my tradition: hard salami slices and cheese with fancy
crackers and olives—his very favorite—and sparkling apple cider. I didn’t need
to buy two bottles. One would do for my husband and me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I prayed
throughout the day, as was my habit now. Prayed more on the first year of
holidays. I cried. I sang. I talked about my son to God. “I miss him, Lord.
I’ll never stop missing him. He wasn’t just my son but also my friend.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Around eight
o’clock, I set up the snacks and watched a movie with my husband. We snuggled
next to the fire and tried to forget. Once more, again, now we were two.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Dear God, another
celebration behind us. We don’t understand why Joshua is gone. In Jesus’s holy
name. Amen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">A Mother’s
Memories</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Mom.”
Twenty-one-year-old Joshua called me into his room. “Look what I found.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He had just
returned from a night at a beachfront motel. Having reserved the motel months
in advance at a lower cost, he rented it out at a higher price for others to
celebrate the 2000New Year. The three college girls that Joshua had rented it
to had called early evening on New Year’s Eve. They’d had a change of plans and
would not need the room. Joshua decided to stay the night in his
already-paid-for room and watch the fireworks on the beach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Now, I entered
his bedroom. “What did you find?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He reached into
his duffle and with a grin said, “It’s fate,” and pulled out a gray-and-white
cat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I gasped. “You
can’t bring that cat in here. You know I’m allergic.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He gave me a soft
smile and cradled the young cat to his chest. “Oh, I know, but she’ll be an
outside cat. I won’t even have to buy her food, because she’ll be a mouser.”
His brows did a dance to entice me with his next words. “Don’t you want her to
kill the mice?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I cocked my head
to one side. “She is pretty, but now take her outside.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His face fell. “I
can’t do that. She’s got to get use to me or she’ll run away.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My back
stiffened. “She can’t stay in the house, Josh.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His hand slid
down the cat’s back in a back-and-forth rub. “She’ll stay in my room. Just for
a few days.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I threw up my
hands and walked away. Over my shoulder I said, “Keep your door shut.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua raised his
voice, “You won’t regret it, Mom. She’ll get rid of all the mice for you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">It took Joshua
two years to name the cat. He said, “It has to be a really special name.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Finally he came
up with LiahNora. His insistence that the cat have a special name, and that
Joshua spelled it so odd, had always bothered me. Six years after Joshua got
LiahNora, it hit me. With Joshua so proud of his Irish heritage—I’d figured it
out. He named the cat LiahNora in code for Hail Aron, which meant hail Ireland.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Thank You,
Father, for the comfort of LiahNora, who lived eight more years after Joshua
died. In Jesus’s holy name. Amen.</span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Reader Journal</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Mother Memories~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~Your Prayer of Praise~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">~A Scripture of Encouragement~</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoPlainText" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-73718783847125066682015-07-08T04:53:00.001-07:002015-07-08T04:53:46.044-07:00Wednesday, July 8th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~A Mother's Memories<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqBEp4A7ZZa4eyfmwfpejeFgIfEEzBW3_ltn2QYGtohVReJgJkYho1vpKX5wpylioKOZO7Uner5I5b3GYYuCCvSsjTA8-20lr_nc7cbjgmfKIwk97i4uYB8C3ScG2vRNA6Ba5M9sYvkk8/s1600/July+8+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqBEp4A7ZZa4eyfmwfpejeFgIfEEzBW3_ltn2QYGtohVReJgJkYho1vpKX5wpylioKOZO7Uner5I5b3GYYuCCvSsjTA8-20lr_nc7cbjgmfKIwk97i4uYB8C3ScG2vRNA6Ba5M9sYvkk8/s320/July+8+2015.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Five-year-old Joshua holding his new stuffed animal</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband said,
“We have one more gift, Joshua, and can you guess who it’s for?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Four-year-old
Joshua pointed at his brother. “Jason.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My husband laid
the box at Joshua’s feet. “No. It’s for you, Son.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua’s eyes
grew as large as marble shooters and just as brilliant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Open it, open
it,” all of us sang.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua ripped
apart the candy-cane-design paper and looked inside. He sucked in his breath,
and his face softened. “Ahhh,” he said.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">His daddy touched
his shoulder. “Sit down, and you can hold one.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua smothered
his face into the guinea pig fur. “He’s so cute, Mom.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“They’re both
girls,” I said.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Much later, on a
snowy January day, Jami squealed. “Mom, Mom, come see the guinea pigs.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I ran from my
bed-making job and stood over the box. “There are—what? Three, four, five of
them,” I gasped.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua held out
his hands. “Can I hold a baby?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Not yet,” Jami
interrupted, “they’re too small.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He dropped his
arms to his sides and said, “Okay.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“That’s right,” I
said. “Let’s leave them alone. We don’t want to upset the mama.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua’s next
words made me laugh. “Do the babies drink their mama’s milk like I used to drink
your milk?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">I grinned. “Yes,
Son.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">He pursed his
lips and smiled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">My thoughts went
back to the pet store where we bought the parent guinea pigs. The clerk had
assured me they were both females. I guess he was wrong.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><i>Holy Father, what
a wonderful memory for me to reconsider. Thank You for all the wonderful
Christmases we shared as a family. In Jesus’s holy and beloved name. Amen.</i></span><br />
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Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3203581265387872660.post-45518561210232486962015-07-06T04:57:00.001-07:002015-07-06T04:57:48.489-07:00Monday, July 6th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Christmas Day~Devotion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4iSF1r34TKESbb_Q8Pchrs86EPcjF-w0SkGyfaYKzUSxXlr6PsQZzOjeAmv5uAYypUc1_1rRjsBnO4HTTo3DHkEClXKpIrNeLEa1r6iWK6TgX1Jz3C8OKiQ7J27YgcRDgunYcmSv_rCY/s1600/July+6+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4iSF1r34TKESbb_Q8Pchrs86EPcjF-w0SkGyfaYKzUSxXlr6PsQZzOjeAmv5uAYypUc1_1rRjsBnO4HTTo3DHkEClXKpIrNeLEa1r6iWK6TgX1Jz3C8OKiQ7J27YgcRDgunYcmSv_rCY/s320/July+6+2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Jean Ann Williams~a crumbled down house</td></tr>
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<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">“Let him who
walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on
his God.”</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">—Isaiah 50:10</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Christmas morning
I crawled out of bed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Fearful, sad,
lonely for my son Joshua.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">The day smothered
me. My muddled brain ran down the corridors of the same emotions. Someone was
missing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Sad—why did he
go? Did he not love us? Sadness took root and choked me, day after day and
throughout the months.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Joshua could not
share in our lives any longer. We trudged on without him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Fearful—the
moment I heard the killing shot. Now I still can’t wrap my mind around life
absent of Joshua. How can there even be this? Without him?</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Lonely—I’m
wretched. Numerous times I’ve prayed for the Lord God to stop my heart from
beating.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">We had come
through most of the special holidays and events without our son. And yet, this
day—Christmas—would be one of the toughest.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Jami invited us
to spend the morning with them and watch the children open their gifts. Much
relieved, my husband and I accepted. Normally, Jami and her family had their
own family gift-exchange time, and we all would meet later in the day at a relatives’
home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">At first, we sat
on Jami’s couch and watched like outsiders. The children drew us in, though.
Their smiles beckoned us to be happy with them, and they showed us the gifts
they had received.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Always sad—I now
laughed at a cute thing my grandchildren had said or done.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">F<i>ather, for sure
we wanted to crawl in a hole and not go through this day. It came and we
survived, because of You. We trust in You, for Your great love moved You to
give up Your Son, who was born and died for our sins. In Jesus’s holy name.
Amen.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
Jean Ann Williamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15357746520145826414noreply@blogger.com0