When Family Cannot Help after Suicide Loss

My Author friend, Becky, on the left

Even though our family clung together the first weeks after Joshua's suicide, a time came when most of them withdrew. 

They were hurting also. Yet as the mother of the loss, I could not understand why some of the family members went silent. I bore this son. I nursed this son. I disciplined this son. I supported him in all his endevors. Woulld I not hurt the most? I began to pray about these seemingly new losses.

As I prayed, friends and acquaints began to reach out. One friend, who was an author, called me. "Jean, you need a writing project." So she told me her idea and years later, twenty to be exact, the project was published into two books: "27 Characters of the Old Testament: Stories & Activities for Children" and "27 Character Traits of the New Testament: Stories & Actitives for Children". 

Another friend met with me weekly at her home or the coffeshop in the village. She stood by me for three years until I moved back to my home state. Another friend withdrew from me, though, which broke my heart. She came to Joshua's memorial and after, we never met together again. We had had a ten year friendship which the suicide severed. Why you may ask? I really don't know, except possibly my grief was more than she could bear. 

I later learned of Compassionate Friends International. I called a local mom who had lost her son and now helped other moms after suicide loss. We talked on the phone several times. She invited me to meet her at a park. During our visit, she said the most profound words I will never forget. "Jean, go through this tunnel of suicide loss and when you reach the other side there will be a gift." 

I gasped and stared at her. "I want that gift." 

The gift I received was compassion for others not only for suicide loss but any loss or hurt people may be suffering. 

 Please let me know if you need prayer. With love in Christ. Jean

What Helped Me to Sleep after Joshua's Suicide

 To say I slept little the first three months after Joshua's sucide is an understatement.

I knew I would break down emotionally if I didn't get help, so off I went to our local health food store. The lady that managed the supplements knew right away what I needed: magnesium. I took the required dose and finally slept five hours without waking.

This was a huge relief. I had enough grieving of my own and of family members that I helped to console and sleep was extra important. 

If anyone needs extra prayer, please comment and I will pray.

My husband, me, and Joshua 

 

 

After Twenty-Two Years Without Our Son, Joshua

 My son has been gone for over twenty-two years. We still miss him. We still cry at times. We still have some of his clothes, his shoes, his things he cherished. There have been five grandchildren born since his death.

We've moved from the house where he shot himself, from that town, from that state. So we have not visited his gravestone in over ten years. Our Father God wants us to move forward after all these years. He requires it. Does God require us to forget that moment, that day Joshua died? From my studies in God's Word, I do believe we should not "look back" as Scripture teaches in a wallowing of emotions.

Yet, I do understand we need to remember so we can help others who are suffering from suicide loss. After this much time has past there is no room for self-pity in my heart. We move on so we may be a light in a dark world. We still cry with those who cry over their loss. Pray for those who want it. Hold their hands in unity for the loss we both have gone through.

I have published two memoirs on suicide loss. God's Merices after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart & Covered Mercies. My books are available at Amazon, Ingram Spark, and my site: jeanannwilliamsauthor.com where there you may order and I will send you a signed copy. 

If anyone wants prayer, please comment and I will pray for you!