Joshua far left, his brother, dad, and me.

 

 

Divorce Rate after the Suicide of a Child 

 

It was several months after Joshua's suicide before my husband and I could take a ride on our motorcycle. We did not at feel like enjoying anything. Once we did take a short ride, my husband stopped at the view of a small canyon which was the last time we rode as a group shown in the photo.

 

I broke down. It was too raw. Why did my husband bring me here?

 

We both struggled over the months, from March to June, to understand how the way we grieved was different and yet sometimes the same. The differences in our grief is what nearly broke us apart. We'd been married thirty-four years and wanted to stay married. Yet it was becoming miserable.

 

Before the 4th of July, I told my husband I could not imagine being at home to hear all the pops and bangs of fireworks. The reason was simple: Joshua had shot himself in his room while we were in the house.

 

My husband understood my fear. We got on our bike the morning of the 4th. and drove to a reserved compound in Santa Barabara where no noise was allowed. No music, no phones, and it was nestled up a hill amongest hundreds of oak trees. That was what we both needed as only one firework popped and it was muffled.

 

That trip reinforced our relationship and we worked together in our grief and suicide loss of Joshua.

 

Less than a month later, we hopped on the motorcycle again and attended a craft fair at our local fairgrounds. As we walked around, I spotted a booth where a lone man stood behind his table. My eyes fixed on the word 'suicide' on the pamphlets. I walked closer to the booth, picked up one pamphlet as the man watched me. I lifted up the paper and said, "This has happened to us."

 

The kind man leaned in and said, "I'm sorry for your loss. I too have lost a son to suicide."

 

He went on to talk with us, until he said, "Do you know the divorce rate when a child dies by suicide?"

 

I shook my head no.

 

"It is 99.99%."

 

My husband and I said at the same time, "Oh," and grabbed each others hand.

 

That day was a huge blessing for us. We now understood the reality of what we were up against. We also were more forgiving and more acceptable on how each other grieved.

 

God hears our prayers. Father God saved our relationship. This year, we celebrated our 56th. anniversary. And we still are merciful with each other.

 

If you need prayer, please leave a comment or email jeanann_w@yahoo.com. Jean