Blessings Along The Way: God's Mercies for a Broken Mother's Heart

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

—Isaiah 43:18&19 ESV

I had a dream. I dreamed the nightmare never happened. Our son Joshua never passed on to the Hereafter. He married and had children. Then I woke, and knew the dream was only that—a dream. We live with our reality.

I’ve written this book of devotions for those of you who have shared the deep heartache of a child’s suicide. Through my writing, I believe God wanted me to share from my heart to yours, by giving you ways to cope and encouraging you. There can be hope and peace after a suicide. God has helped me and He wants to help you. The loss is horrific, but God is faithful. He brought me through this dark time, and He wants to do the same for you.

A yearning to write this story came five years, five months, and two weeks into my grieving journey. I sensed a dawn of courage within myself. I haven’t come this far in a blink, nor on my own. I’ll lose my nerve, only to gain it back, time and again, before I complete my story. Although, I do have the help from Lord God, and the folks He sends my way.

Am I full of courage? 

Yes! Yes, I shout, with God’s hand upon me.

God, when I falter, I pray You will renew my strength. In Jesus' name. Amen.

My faithful readers, imagine you've picked up a devotional book with the title, "Blessings Along the Way: God's Mercies for a Broken Mother's Heart." You've read the first page of the excerpt above. Would you take this book home? 

As a mother, would you expect the pages within the book to give you hope and courage through a horrific tragedy: the loss of your child from suicide?

I am a mother who suffered through the first year of raw agony of losing my son. There are still seasons in my life when the ache of child-loss brings me to my knees. But the love of Christ has brought me to this place, right here. I am currently writing BLESSINGS ALONG THE WAY: God's Mercies For A Broken Mother's Heart to share the pivotal moments of that first year of loss, and show how God blessed through each one.

God has given me a passion to help other mothers, as I've been helped by mothers before me. In spite of their loss, these mothers carried on the torch of love, hope, and joy, and have given me a snapshot of courage.

As I research devotional books that aim to help mother's who've lost children to suicide, I haven't found anything like what I envision for my book. And, I am open to suggestions from my readers. Truly, I am. I want this book to meet a need for others, otherwise there's no reason to write it.

Joshua's life had meaning.

Your child's life had meaning.

Our children left their imprint on Earth.

Until next time . . . let me hear from you.

Joshua's Senior Photo

The Beautiful Battle

Mary DeMuth's book "The Beautiful Battle," releases tomorrow, February 1st. I am so excited to get a copy into my hands and read it. From what I've heard from Mary's book trailer, it is such a needed book about women and spiritual warfare. And it sounds like the spiritual warfare that I've undergone as a mother of three children.

If you wish to enter her contest for a chance to win "The Beautiful Battle," click on Mary DeMuth's name up above and read her blog.

God bless you, Mary!

When Someone You Love Grieves

Recently, someone stumbled across my blog and sent me an E-mail. They said within the last few days, they had lost their son. I'm not sure how. What matters most right now is that they are hurting.

I can't stress enough how important it is to reach out and love someone who has lost a child. And if it's by suicide, then that can matter more to everyone involved: you, family, friends, acquaintances.

Here's where the problem lies.

Some people are so afraid to say something wrong they do nothing at all. Noticed I said do, and not say, for to say something helps little, but to do something is a gift. The hurting parent or sibling can barley think let alone ask for help.

Don't kid yourself, they need help.

People from our neighborhood showed up with food. They didn't ask, they showed up. I so appreciated them. Friends called and wanted to know what time to drop by a meal. I needed that, because it showed they weren't afraid to associate with me. The taboo of a suicide, in my home even, didn't stop them from coming around.

These are the people I will always remember and love.

Send the hurting one a living plant, a card, a book on grieving.

We received the sweetest, heart-felt cards and I've kept them all.

One friend took over a month to come to my house. When she did, her sorrow for me oozed. I could tell that was one of the hardest things she's ever done. To visit me. I loved her all the more, and I found myself acting strong, so she wouldn't feel worse.

It's what we do when we love and we're able. If she had caught me on a horrible, no good, bad day, nothing could have stopped my tears.

Another dear friend had just lost her father. She could not go to Joshua's memorial. What she did do? Met me for lunch over a period of six months. I cried during our lunches, and she listened. I drew strength from her, and we talked about our losses.

What I want to say to the person that contacted me by E-mail after her son died?

Know that I am praying for you. Every day. That I care about you. That I've walked in your boots, am walking. There are no words, just that I can listen if you wish to call.

When you're ready.

And just because it's been over seven years since my son died, it feels like yesterday and I still remember.

God bless you, Dear Mother, and I hope you come back around to read this.

Until next time . . . breathe . . .