Ecclesiastes 11:8~Let Him Rejoice

Jean playing with her goats

Dear Readers,

The Preacher says:

"So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many. All that comes is vanity." Ecclesiastes 11:8 ESV

This verse speaks plainly of my outlook these past years. What is that you may ask? To count the many richest of blessings the Lord has given to me and my family, and to understand dark days will always come.

Of course it was hard to always look at the good those first four years after Joshua died by suicide. Even in my greatest sorrowing in the early grieving years, I worked at remembering my blessings. I understood that as a healthy response to an otherwise horrific challenge of losing my son.

Did I count my blessings that my son was gone. No. I did not. The mind, though, can only take on so much grief. We have to give ourselves a rest from the continuous weeping and grieving of the heart.

What I believe the Preacher means is we need to live in the realization that our days will be clothed in some darkness. We can still rejoice, though, that our life has a purpose and meaning within the protection of God our Father.

Let us remember the best of what God has given to us.


I'd like to suggest a song by Wayne Watson, "Such A Time As This." It fits with today's scripture.

Until next time . . . live for Lord God.

Proverbs 27:27~Thou Shalt Have Goats' Milk

My best milker's kids, Glow and Moon

Dear readers,

Some of you may know that I have goats. I drink my goats' milk and make cheese and butter.

God knows the wonderful properties of goat milk for He mentions it in Proverbs 27:27:

"And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens."

That about covers it for a family, doesn't it? God is saying there will be an abundance of goats' milk.

What does this have to do with the loss of my son? Or the loss of your loved one?

When Joshua died by suicide, I craved dairy foods. I felt guilty for indulging in them, but looking back I understand the foods gave me comfort. It helped me to not resort to stronger drink.

Four years after Joshua died, my baby brother Eric died as a direct result of the Iraq war. Joshua had favored Uncle Eric in every way. I grew closer to Eric after Joshua died, for Eric and Joshua thought a lot alike. So when Eric died suddenly, it was more than I thought I could bear.

After Eric's funeral service, I came back home and found a source of goats' milk. I drank it morning, noon and night. I made hot cocoa with my goats' milk. I drank it plain. I made cheese. Not only did this comfort me as I grieved over the loss of Eric, but I decided to buy my own goats and start a farm.

Fast forward to six years. I have had as many as six goats at a time. I enjoy them for all their curious natures and how they enjoy my pats and hugs. I laugh out loud when a goat kid twirls in the air like a ballerina.

Ah, and the milk. It is delicious here on my Nana's Goat Farm.

Thank You, Father, for making the perfect food of goats' milk. You knew it could also be a comfort in our time of sorrows. In Jesus' holy name, I'm grateful. Amen.

Until next time . . . look for the simple blessings.

Psalm 116:4~Deliver My Soul

From left to right: Heinrich in the background, Joshua's dog, my husband and me 2010

Dear readers,

The Psalmist writes:

"Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul."

Just when I've adjusted to life without my son Joshua with more days of joy and less grief, the anniversaries and the celebrations yank me down. 

I remember then to call upon the name of the Lord. He's an instant comfort that no one else can give, nor any substance like food or drink can satisfy. I'm still sad, dear readers, but Jesus delivers my soul from the too heavy burden of loss. My heart is lighter as He carries me.

Another trigger besides holidays and anniversaries, can be when I'm not feeling well. Maybe it's an illness, or a minor or major injury. Grief will resurface and compound the current suffering that has no connection to the loss of Joshua.

Grief is complicated.

Jesus is not.

I'm complicated.

He still loves me.

Praise the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Until next time . . . let's read our Bibles and learn more about Jesus.