Even though it's been over five years, the holidays are still hard, hard, hard. No doubt!
My husband and I slog our way through. Christmas without our son, Joshua, is brutal. If it weren't for our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, we simply couldn't do this. I must admit, though, we don't decorate for Christmas anymore. We don't buy a tree. Our hearts are no longer into that aspect of it all.
We still give holiday gifts, but now they are home canned jellies, jams, and foods from our garden. I love giving gifts like that, and I start making them in August and finish up in November. No more holiday shopping for us. It's a relief, really. I can barely handle the ho ho ho's and the happy songs. All the decorations in the stores.
I pray harder and longer during November and December, to help us get through. I count my blessings more often, to maintain a decent attitude. I must admit we get angry still. Hurt from no more Joshua here on earth.
I read the scriptures of when Jesus cried, when he was troubled, and tempted, and I sense a strength that can only come from him. Just knowing Christ suffered everything and more of it than me, makes me know even if no one else understands how I feel, he does. He always will.
All those who loved Joshua and were the closest to him, I say, "We can get through this time of year." We will be saved. "With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)
Until next time, be on your knees in prayer and God will see you through.