After Josh died, I suffered tremendous guilt for years. At times, I still do, but mostly it's regrets. I wish I would have done this for him. I wish I would have better understood his illness. I wish I would have been smarter. I wish, I wish, I wish . . .
Most days, now, I seek God to remember the better and good times we had with Joshua. Hard work, no doubt, but, rewarded often for my efforts.
On a side note, I just read Danielle Steel's book His Bright Light. This story helped me tremendously to better understand my own son. It's amazing how similar our sons acted as a babies.
Rest in Christ . . . and breathe . . .