Thursday, March 25, 2010

Six Years And I Miss You More: God's Timing

March 16th marked the sixth anniversary of Joshua's death by suicide. In honor of Joshua, I've included his grave stone. Notice the engraved photo of a dog on the stone. That's in memory of his old dog, Harloe, the rottweiler.

Months before Joshua's anniversary death date, I prayed for extra strength for that hard day ahead. I wanted my husband and I to be rocks with no tears. God honored my request. I became teary-eyed a few days before March 16th, but on that day, my husband and I cheered each other. Sounds impossible, even to me, but with God all is possible.

It is possible, also, to heal and to help others who go down this path of sorrow. I'd like to help others to avoid this path. It was made easier because God press upon me to embrace the sixth year mark with hope. The day after March 16th, we now go through the seventh of all special days, holidays, notable moments. Number seven is one of God's numbers, meaning it has significance. Number seven helps me to look to the future.

For now, God uses me in a narrowed focus to help other families through this blog and in conversation. All the while, I am praying for a doctor to co-author a book with me about the very topics I've blogged. I do believe that person will come in God's timing.

As I wrote on the first post, I placed Joshua's box of journals next to my desk. I still haven't opened them and read, but this year I can see myself doing that. God knows when I will have his blessed courage to read Joshua's thoughts. He knows when I can read them without feeling horror.

If there is nothing else I've learned, it is that God loves me and hears my prayers.

God bless all my readers.

Until next time . . . pray.

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