|Cherry Blossoms in My Yard|
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go
"O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be."
"O joy that seekest me thru pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow thru the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be."
*Text: Cecil F. Alexander
* Music: William H. Jude
verses one and three
I discovered this hymn recently, and it speaks so well about the time following Joshua's suicide.
I had to share this with you, dear reader. If I've failed to explain well enough the height of Love that God has shown to me, parts of this hymn should.
Do you see, dear reader? How could I not choose life? I knew God was listening even if I didn't feel Him. The line in the song above, "I cannot close my heart to Thee," is a choice. I made that choice. I walked through the God door and did not look back.
But, then, I grew weary with the months of grief and wanted to quit. I wasn't seeking to quit because God failed me. Oh, no. I wanted to throw in my whole life and walk away because I came to the end of myself. At the very end. On the edge of the cliff. I found: "I rest my weary soul in Thee; I give Thee back the life I owe."
Psalm 116:2 shows the results of God's faithfulness for my life now:
"Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live."
Thank you, Holy God, Father of all creation, for listening to me when my life cracked in the loss of my son. You held me up when I could no longer. I'm grateful. In Jesus' holy name. Amen.
Until next time . . . sing a hymn.