Mary's Song of Thanksgiving

Recently, a brother in Christ taught a lesson about Mary's song, Luke 1:46-55. I found myself drawn to the words once again, but I did not notice before the heading at the top of the Bible's passage, titled: Mary's song of thanksgiving.

Here's the first part of Mary's song, verses, 46-48.

". . . My soul doth magnify the Lord,
And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed."

Magnify in verse 46 means make great, meaning the Lord is highly important to Mary. She needs him.

What does this have to do with our suffering after the loss of a child? Or any death, for that matter.

I knew of a Christian woman who lost her son in a motorcycle accident. I reached out to her (Joshua had been gone for two years by this time), but her state of mind alarmed me. She admitted she went to church but she didn't want to be there. It left her empty, feeling hollow. Every single time for weeks and months she had these feelings. I prayed for her.

Yes, there were many days before Sunday worship that I cried right up until I walked out the door dabbing my face with a hankie. I didn't feel much like going. I worried I'd sob right through service. It is miserable to face a crowd when you're hurting so profoundly that all you want is to leave this earth. Every time, though, I grew stronger for attending services on the Lord's day.

We need a song in our heart, especially when we're walking through the valley of the shadow. It may be too simplistic by some standards, but it is OUR song.

A song could look like mine those first years after Joshua died by suicide. Hold me up Lord, I pray. Nothing can snatch me out of your hand, Lord. You are worthy, Lord, to give me your strength, for mine is wasted.

What is your song? The song that you sang in your heart after the loss of a loved one. If you didn't have one, you can still find your song. You can sing it now and praise Lord, God. He always blesses us when we reach out to him.

At this time of year, life weighs heavy on those who have lost dear ones. Keep a song in your heart, even if it is but; help me, Lord. I've found those three words the most powerful. Our Lord comes running.

Until next time . . . sing.

Author note: The photo above is of my daughter, Jami, as she sang her songs. (Photo taken nine months after her brother passed)

The Heart Of A Mother

A heart grown weary,
A soul shattered by loss.
How can it be, that I still live,
And yet my son does not.

As mother Mary, "kept these things,"
I pondered in my own heart.
Did Mary know her Son would die?
As surely, I did not.

Mary cried,
for her Savior Son.
And I, for mine,
We have a mother's heart.

By Jean Ann Williams

Inspired by Luke 1:19, "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."

The poem above is rough (I'm not a poet), but it says much about how Mary's situation kept me going after Joshua died by suicide. When all I wanted was to be with Joshua, I would think of Mary. I'd read every scripture written about her. I would nod. "I believe, Mary, I know how you must have felt."

In Joshua's journals, he mentioned more than once what a burden he was to us with his physical disability. He wrote about how he wanted the best for his parents. I'd rather have my son be my cross to bear, than like now.

I wish, oh, how I wish, he would have understood how we felt. Did we give mixed signals? Did the times I was worn down with caring for him show that much?

I thank God with all my heart that Joshua left us his journals. He cleared up several issues for which we felt guilty. We thought some of the decisions we made had pushed him to his death.

No.

They did not.

Joshua even wrote, "I don't know what will happen to me when my parents are gone."

Before his death I pondered much in my heart, watching Joshua deteriorate. I ponder still. What would life be like if Joshua had lived?

I'll leave you with a scripture. Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the mediation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer."

Until next time, pray.

Life's Pathway

Life's Pathway by Fern Ackerman

There is no easy path to take,
When traveling down life's road.
We try to choose the right one,
To have the easy load.

But trouble over takes us,
As we trod along the way.
Heartaches, trials, and crosses,
Seem to come and somehow stay.

However dark the night may seem,
However deep the pain.
Pour out your heart to Him in Prayer,
He will help you to sustain.


I love this poem by Fern Ackerman, because it speaks of how people think and how much God loves us.

Have you ever considered the words, "Help me, Lord," are more powerful than any flowery prose we can say? Sometimes, I am so distraught, all I can say is, "Help!"

Last week Satan attacked me with a punch that dropped me to the ground. I cried. I prayed with many words. I ranted. But I got nowhere until I said out loud to God, "Help me, please!"

He came running, and a warmth of love enveloped my entire being. I thought, "Oh, God, my God how great is thy name." Afterward, I read in his Word all my favorite scriptures.

I said in an earlier post November is a harsh month, because Joshua would have been 32. I must keep on my full spiritual armor and grieve God's way. That may mean sorrow that overwhelms to the point I'm on my knees to him. Over and over again.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Until next time . . . read the word and pray. God bless you dear readers.