Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Wednesday, June 17th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Thanksgiving without Joshua~Devotion

Jim and me, within our first year of marriage~44 years ago

“The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
—Lamentations 3:25

Our family sat down to the Thanksgiving meal and held hands around the table.

Everyone watched my husband, waiting for him to pray. “Why don’t we take turns saying what we are grateful for.”

I gulped. What would I say when my time came? Please, Lord, help me not to cry. Help me to think of something to not make others cry. This is a hard day, I prayed.

Most of the family members said they were grateful for relatives. One even said they were thankful for those who had gone on to be with the Lord. 

I shifted in my chair. Then, it came to me what I should say. It was honest, even though I didn’t feel this thankful every single day.

Everyone stared at the mother of Joshua. I opened my mouth, “I’m thankful for the twenty-five years I had with Joshua.” I bowed my head and swallowed. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.

My husband led the prayer and everyone said, “Amen.”

I sighed softly, so as not to draw attention to myself. Tears stung my eyes, and as they rolled, I dabbed them with my napkin. Thank You, Lord.

Lord, Your strength within me gets me through. For sure, I’m grateful that Joshua was born and lived with us for a time. In Jesus’s holy name. Amen.

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