Wednesday, April 15, 2015

God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~Day Eight~The Devotion

Joshua's last car

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
—Matthew 6:34

Too soon, Jason and his family packed their suitcases and prepared to say good-bye.

We agreed that Jason should drive Joshua’s car back to his home to give it to a large family that needed an extra vehicle. Watching Joshua’s car leaving? I can’t express how much that tore at my heart. It was for the best, I knew. But I had no idea what it meant to my fragile emotions.

At that moment, reality smacked me like a fist in the face. For better or worse, we had to get through each day without our Joshua and now even without his things. Never again would I see his red Pontiac parked in our driveway.

Without Joshua. How could I do this? I couldn’t wrap my mind around such an absurd idea. I decided then that I would strive to live in the moment. I prayed for the Lord to help me achieve this one goal: one moment, one hour, and one day at a time.

After Jason and his family waved good-bye, my husband and I dove into spring-cleaning.

As we took down our bedroom blinds and washed them in our front yard, two of my husband’s coworkers pulled to the side of the curb. They visited for an hour. During their time with us, God made it clear. He had not forgotten us. Mercy came when family left and company came.

Dear Father, You watch over us, and Your loving arms continue to embrace our sorrow. In Jesus’s holy name, I’m grateful. Amen.


  1. Jean Ann, you are speaking words of healing to so many. You don't preach or say things that are too hard for a newly grieving heart to hear. Rather, this is how it was day by day, event by event, and by telling it from your mother's heart, you lay groundwork for other mothers to get through grief moment by moment. When we hurt, we want to know we are not the first to go through a situation like our own. It gives us hope to know that someone truly understands, and if they got through it, then there is every reason to think we can make it through, as well. God bless you, my wise and caring friend.

  2. Pat, I value your opinion, since it was you who gave me the idea through the Holy Spirit to write this book of devotions. Thank you for encouraging me, as I still wonder if my words are too much for the hearer. This truly has been a work of blind faith on my part. I thought my first book about my son would be so different than what was made clear to me that I should write instead. God bless your day, Sister Pat. Love, Jean

  3. Jean, each post, each time you show your emotions with transparency, whether I always comment or not, blesses me so much. I have experienced loss numberous times in my life, but not to the same degree as yours. I believe your words ARE helping someone who needs to hear them. Many blessings, & hugs.

  4. I'm so glad you read each post, Peg. This blesses me! Thank you for the encouragement. Always needed!