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| Joshua's Senior Picture~1996 |
“I’m outta here.”
Joshua raised his always soft voice to an annoyed holler. His face scrunched in
fury, he threw his clothes into a duffle bag.
At eighteen, he
had become upset with me and left home.
I sobbed for
three days. For one thing, I couldn’t imagine any of my children being that
furious with me. For another, it was over a trivial matter.
It was during
this time after Joshua graduated high school that he became difficult to wake
in the mornings for his summer job. He had an alarm, but he would shut it off
and fall back to sleep. For about a month, I would shake his shoulder and tell
him, “Son, you’re going to be late for work.”
At first he got
up. In time, nothing worked but to throw back his blankets and demand he get
up. Now.
I did that one
time too many.
Joshua moved in
with friends in an apartment. That first weekend after Joshua left, our
community celebrated the harvest of strawberries with the Strawberry Festival.
My daughter, Jami, asked me to go with her and her two daughters: a baby and a
toddler. I never knew when sobs would overtake me, so I told her I couldn’t be
out in public.
At the end of two
weeks, Joshua moved back home as suddenly as he’d left. As he was unpacking his
duffle bag, I entered his open bedroom door. “Son, I won’t bother you anymore
about being late. If you lose your job, you lose your job.”
Joshua looked up
with a wide-eyed expression. “Mom, I’m sorry. I wasn’t mad at you. I just took
stuff that was bothering me out on you and used that as an excuse.” We hugged
each other, and my shoulders heaved with my sobs of relief. He rubbed my head,
and in his familiar, gentle voice said, “Don’t cry, little mama. It wasn’t your
fault.”
Lord, I understand my son felt safe enough to
direct misguided anger toward me, knowing I would never stop loving him. In
Jesus’s holy name I’m grateful he’s home. Amen.
Reader Journal
~Your Mother Memories~
~Your Prayer of Praise~
~A Scripture of Encouragement~
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