Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Wednesday, May 27th~God's Mercies after Suicide: Blessings Woven through a Mother's Heart~A Mother's Memories

photo by Jean Ann Williams

I stepped on the rake and the handle hit me on the nose, and Joshua roared in laughter.

I frowned and turned. Joshua was holding his stomach and pointing. His dad grinned. 

“It’s not funny,” I said with a pout. My nose felt hot to the touch. With Joshua now doubled over, having a rip-roaring time at my expense, I snapped at him. “I may have broken my nose, Josh.”

He calmed his laughter long enough to say, “That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, Mom. Like a comedy skit.” He mimicked what he saw and said, “She steps on the rake tines and bop, gets hit in the nose.”

That did it.

I stomped past him and into the house. Tears stung my eyes as I peered into the mirror. My nose looked like Rudolf’s, and then it dawned on me. My son laughed. I couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed. I made my son happy. Still looking in the mirror, my features relaxed. I nodded and smiled. “It was worth it.”

I met Joshua in the hall and touched his arm. “That must have looked funny, huh?”

Joshua beamed. “That was classic, Mom, just classic.”

That night in bed, I grinned and thanked God that I made my son happy, even if my nose still hurt. Little did I know Joshua would never laugh again.

In a few short weeks, Joshua would take his own life.

Father, I’m glad my son had laughter one more time before his death. In Jesus’s name, I’m grateful. Amen.

Reader Journal
~Your Mother Memories~
~Your Prayer of Praise~
~A Scripture of Encouragement~


  1. Jean, you have written so beautifully and openly about your son, his trials and yours. I hope you are closer to getting this in print. Just like I keep copies of Dodie Osteen's "Healed from Cancer" for those who get a cancer diagnosis, your book would be another I would want to have on hand for those who grieve the suicide of a child. So proud of your courage in writing this, my sweet friend.

  2. Thank you for your gift of encouragement. I need this, as anyone would. God bless you, Pat!