Friday, December 7, 2012
Psalm 144:9 I Will Sing or Will I?
Are you "singing"? For some of us, we are not anywhere near the point in our grief process to sing. We can't even fathom the idea.
During the first year after Joshua's suicide, my heart and soul were so damaged, to sing was not going to happen. Oh, sure, I sang the songs during worship in a church service, but that's not what I'm talking about.
This is what David says: I will sing a new song unto thee, O God. Upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings, will I sing praises unto thee.
Yes, David is talking of a literal singing and playing his precious instrument that at one time soothed King Saul's wayward mind. But, I want us to look at our hearts and apply this verse to our condition.
For some of us, we can sing praises and, if we have instruments, we may play them unto the Lord. We can praise God within our hearts, also. For others, we're not ready. Emotionally, we're not able to praise God for much. Is that sin? I'm not sure. I do know it's not healthy to become stuck in our grieving journey, and only you can discern if you're stuck. All you do is ask the Lord to show you.
If we dig deep enough, stop long enough to look around, we can find something to praise God for right now. Even in our early grief time.
I found myself able to praise God that I still had two children who loved and needed me. And you know what else amazed me? Within the first year, I dug deep, very deep into the hollow pockets of my heart and found I could thank the Lord for allowing my son to come into our lives.
If felt GOOD, and RIGHT, and a RELIEF.
Joshua, that unique, honest, teaser, needed proper honor for his place in this broken world. When I praised the Lord who allowed me to have this one last child for the years he was here, my spirit began to soften and unwrinkle itself into what God wanted me to be; a work in progress who could bloom until the day He takes me Home.
Here's my prayer for us today:
Father, God, thank you for loving us so much that you allowed Your Son to die upon a tree so that we may have eternal life. In Jesus' holy name. Amen.
Until Monday . . . reach deep, deeper still into your heart pocket.