The Psalms and Grieving

These holiday seasons are filled with memories of our loved ones. We can't help but think of them and miss them so intensely we may feel physically ill.

To help us in our grief path for our children, I've planned a five day a week Psalm verses with added words that I hope will comfort. My prayer is that these verses bring you as much peace and comfort as they do for me.

1. I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. 2. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. 3. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. Psalm 142: 1-3 KJV

I love God more for these verses. They are so fitting as to our struggles as parents over longing to see our children once again. Let's sum up the words of David, and I'll express what I see that helps me.

In verse one: I cried to God daily for months and into the first four years for I was so horrified over my loss of Joshua. I couldn't wrap my mind around what happened. Joshua no longer here? No, no, no!

In verse two: I didn't hide my sorrow before the Lord. I complained to him a lot. I'd say things like, "Lord, I'm not going to ask why, but I DO NOT like this. What good can come of this loss? Joshua should be here with his family. Here with me. How can I bear this?"

First part of verse three: This is the verse that shows it is okay to cry out to the Lord. To cry. To beat your fists and to kick a pillow. To scream. To fall on the floor and wail, if that's how you feel. I did all those things, and I always sensed a peaceful presence when the action was done. I did not hurt anyone or myself (well, one time I busted a blood vessel in my hand when I slammed my fist on the wall. I don't recommend that). Did you notice how God can fully hear us? Reread verse three carefully. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then (my emphasis) thou knewest my path.

Second part of verse three: I know David had many enemies. How can we take these words of sorrow and apply them? What if we don't have enemies when our child dies? How about this: Death is our enemy. Losing a friend because of our loss is an enemy of sorts. They don't become our enemy in the true sense, but the hurt that comes from their decision to leave the friendship feels like an enemy. But let's remember that our friends that leave don't want to. They are overwhelmed with hurt for us and they have their reasons for leaving. They may fully believe that they will say something that will hurt us further.

In the English Standard Version it says of the second part of verse three: In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. The one enemy that surely fits these words best is Satan. He is in his glory when the rug is jerked from under us, and our feet go flying in the air and we land hard on our back. Please, do not underestimate Satan's ways of making us think all is lost during our blackest hour.

Yes, our most precious child has left this earth, but our life is not over and in time we come to see this. In time.

Until tomorrow . . . rest in Lord God.